This Blog was initially a letter to Roland Martin in response to another blog, that criticized his stance on holding men accountable for their actions.  I am publishing it here to get your opinions as to how to structure viable solutions.


The Answer to the problem: Stop having bastard children. The Solution: Well that is a little more complicated but I believe that I have a plan to curtail the problem of Illegitimate Births.

The laws and welfare programs of this country don’t help any in that they allow the woman to falsely believe that the man is not necessary (because they supply the support) thus exasperating the problem further. Needless to say but those actions burdens the rest of the tax paying citizens of the country. You hear it all the time from women, "I don’t need no man!" My response, "I know you don’t but it’s about the kid now, ya dumb ______!" A woman is less likely to take a different look at procreation when she believes there is someone / something else (government, siblings, her parents, etc.) that will pick-up the slack for the lack of paternal support. If society would shift to virtually eliminating assistance to those who never made an attempt to marry, I guarantee there would be a lot of "street justice" involvement to hold Males (not necessarily Men) accountable and pressure to make Females smarter about their selections, let alone getting pregnant! The BullSh** we see today would virtually stop!

Every time government (institutions) sticks its nose into something, the situation tends to deteriorate further and you know what, it is neither its total responsibility nor the church or pastor anyway! It is the job, initially, of the family and specifically, the parents to not only instill but maintain such principles in the household. IF this is done correctly, Society would not need to intervene. Oh, my bad, I guess this is all mute! A family cannot teach that which it does not know, let alone practice and heaven forbid let another entity teach the child, thus highlighting the family’s shortcomings! In your first response, you said, "…If a 17-year-old woman gets pregnant…." Let’s just stop right there! I’m sorry but I am extremely adamant about HOW "the cycle" begins and not on the baby’s arrival After-the-Fact because by that time it is too [explicative] late! A piece-of-sh** before the conception of a child will be the same piece-of-sh** after the child is born!! The only way to SAVE that child is to remove it from that environment! Period! Not doing so is basically sentencing that child to repeating the cycle. Now tell me, if it is easier to stop this problem before it starts or after it arrives? A no-brainer isn’t it? If so, then why aren’t we taking assertive measures to stop these births? If "we" are trying to "talk to [immature Males] about manhood, being a father, and their responsibilities" after the baby is here, "we" really [explicative]-up!! This cannot be done After-the-Fact and expect to be effective! Again, it’s too [explicative] late by that time!!

Our focus, our questions, our resources should go towards figuring out ways to STOP the cycle of pregnancies, and definitely the Births, BEFORE they begin. Focusing on the "concept" (altering the psyche of young girls) and not the "mechanics" (physical barriers and sex education) is, in my opinion, the only solution to this epidemic. As stated in the opening paragraphs, I believe I have a way of accomplishing this monumentally complex undertaking. If you could assist me or know of any other entities that can assist me, in implementing the solution you called for, that would be great!

I must agree with you in that, in this case (the blog), the focus is all wrong. The focus should not be on Denying Illegitimate Children…. With all due respect, the church tracking down the deadbeat, loser is a lost cause too. I am not saying that we should absolve the Male of his responsibilities but I don’t think we should start with him; we will get to him later.

The female’s psyche is where all of our efforts should start because she is the only one who can "start, and terminate, the cycle." We MUST imbed into the psyche of females, starting at a very young age, the concept, where-by, Illegitimate Births do not compute. When we are able to get them to a point where a female is saying to herself, "Oh he**, no! … not my body, not my life…," regardless of what the guy is trying to do in order to "get some," we can begin to turn-the-corner. I don’t know about you but as a young Man and as an immature boy, I was ALWAYS "pressing-up" (search: dogs at the link) on some female! Human nature; I don’t believe you will ever stop it! However, I would never pursue aggressions to the point of rape nor do I think a majority of the male population so it all comes down to her being strong enough (initially) to say NO! Please read the section on The Five Avoidable Mistakes, in the Book, "It’s Mama’s Fault!" for clarification. I am painfully tenacious about prevention; just ask any of my colleagues. I have a huge problem waiting until something is far too screwed-up before deciding that it "all of a sudden now" needs fixing. We need to alter behaviors NOW that lead to the very circumstances, in our communities and lives, we all would like to cease.

The Book, "It’s Mama’s Fault!" is based on the premise that you cannot change that which you are consciously unaware of or do not know. To rectify that problem, it graphically describes various behaviors to such a degree that you will never see another Man or Woman the same way again, as it pertains to relationship evaluation of yourself or another! The Book will be enlightening to any female who picks it up but is meant to serve as a third party Reference for any responsible person. A Guide for any Parent, Teacher, Mentor, Family Member, Friend, Employer or any other entity of influence or authority, who gives-a-damn about, and wants to convey its message towards, ANY SINGLE FEMALE under the age of 40!

In the case of what do you do "After the Fact," when the kids are already here, is an entirely different program but I must give credit where and when it is due. Men, like you, and women MUST take these kids into their home. I would not be the Man I am today if this did not happen for me. I understand the situation more than you could possibly know, through first hand experience (search: entire family at the link).